The Christmas Party
by cheri1
Summary: 10th Doctor. Part of the Something Old and New Series. It's Christmas time again and the Doctor and his family are at his house having a large Christmas party. FINISHED
1. Chapter 1

A/N: This is a short story that's part of my Something Old and New series. Please see my profile for the list of the stories in the series and the order they should be read. This takes place when Hope and Faith are four years old.

Chapter One

It was Christmastime on New Gallifrey and this year it was the Doctor's turn to host the annual Christmas party on Christmas Eve night. They had spent the morning putting up the Christmas tree and decorations and now that it was over, Rain went into the kitchen to put a couple of turkeys in the oven while the Doctor went to the lavatory. As he was heading up the stairs, he glanced over his shoulder and saw Hope and their dogs, Anne and Elizabeth following them. The little corgis panted as they flanked his four year old daughter.

"Chriiiistmaaaas," Hope said as he followed him.

"Yes," the Doctor said, stopping and leaning over. "But right now, looooo."

"I like Christmas," Hope said.

"Me too but I like an empty bladder even more. So wait here and let me go to the loo and I'll be with you in a trice, okay?"

Hope nodded and the Doctor tousled her hair before he walked on to the lavatory. As he entered, he grunted when Anne and Elizabeth tore past him and began to walk around the bathroom, sniffing out something.

"You lot lose something?" the Doctor said to them before turning towards the door.

He froze when he saw Hope starting to come inside and he quickly scooped her up while she giggled.

"No, gotta stay out here. Daddy needs privacy," he said to her.

"Doggies are in there," Hope said, pointing to the corgis.

"Yes, well, doggies are busy sniffing around. Tell you what, why don't you go help mummy in the kitchen and I'll join you in a minute, yeah?"

"Promise?" Hope said.

"No, I'm gonna run far, far away in my TARDIS and never come back," the Doctor said, setting her down on the floor.

"No, you're not," Hope said. "If you do, I'm gonna go get in your bed and sleep."

The Doctor let out an exaggerated gasp and began to tickle her while she laughed.

"No one invades the sanctity of my bed, my little gingerbread person," he said as he tickled her.

Anne and Elizabeth, overexcited, came out and began trying to lick the Doctor's face. Before any of them could react, the Doctor zoomed into the bathroom and slammed the door, locking it behind him.

"Hey!" Hope said, slamming her hands on the door while the dogs barked and ran around her. "You can't get away from me!"

"What are you doing, love?"

Hope turned and saw her mother coming up the stairs.

"Daddy's going to the loo and I said, no, you have to stay out here and be with me and he said go and help you and I said, no," she replied as Hope walked up to her.

Rain chuckled. She ran to the door and slammed her hands on it while she yelled at the top of her lungs.

"Oi!" the Doctor yelled out while Hope bent over laughing.

"GET OUT HERE, I CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOOOOU!" Rain yelled as she banged the door repeatedly.

By now the dogs were in a frenzy, barking and running around while Hope laughed hysterically. Rain stepped back when the Doctor opened the door and stared at his wife in a stunned silence.

"How old are you?" the Doctor said to Rain when she gave him an innocent look. "Blimey, I thought Hope was running me ragged but you're running a close second now. It's a good thing I never age physically because I'd have a head full of grey hairs by now."

Rain kissed him and the Doctor smiled at that and picked up Hope.

"I put the turkeys in and I'm making mashed potatoes and macaroni and cheese and the salad," Rain said. "Supposedly, everyone else is supposed to bring something."

"Well, if not, we can open up bottles of wine and get good and pickled," the Doctor said.

"I'd like to see that actually, you drunk off your butt," Rain said as they headed towards the stairs.

The Doctor put Hope down and she laughed when he began to stagger around.

"Woo-hoo, I'm drunk!" he said in a slurred voice as he staggered back and forth.

He stopped in front of Hope and stared at her with wide eyes and a slack jaw while he made a gargling sound in his throat. Hope giggled and embraced him. The Doctor picked her up and held her close while they went downstairs. While they were going down, there was a knock on the door. The Doctor and Rain walked over and Rain opened the door. They backed up when Alan sprinted inside and slammed the door on Rose, his children and the Doctor's grown children along with Patience, Amelia and Opal.

"Help me! Zombies are following me!" Alan said, slamming his body up against the door.

"Let us in, you maniac!" Rose said, pounding on the door while Hope and the other children laughed hysterically.

"Quick, Brother, get the axe. We need to chop their heads off and get rid of the fiends!" Alan said.

"Out of the way, weirdo," Rain said, pushing him away from the door.

"See that, Brother," Alan said as Rain opened the door. "Your butter knife is bringing about the zombie apocalypse and I have nothing to do with it. Don't blame me if they start eating your brains."

Rain shook his head and embraced the children while Rose hugged the Doctor. While Rain was hugging the children, she looked out the door at the Christmas lights on the house across the street and the Christmas tree in their bay window. When they first founded New Gallifrey, they got together and decided what holidays they would like to celebrate and Christmas was by a unanimous vote. The bigger the population of their planet got, the more elaborate the Christmas celebrations became. In the morning was a huge Christmas day parade that would go down the high street of Kasterborous City and both Hope and Faith were eager to see it. As everyone greeted each other, Alan bent down and put his face next to Hope's.

"And do you have kisses for me this Christmas Eve night?" he said.

He smiled when Hope gave him a huge kiss on the cheek.

"That'll do for now but I'll be back for more," he said as everyone went outside.

They came back in with two large garbage bags filled with presents and several covered dishes of food. Alan came back in wearing a Santa Claus hat on his head. It had Jingle Bells written in red stitching on the front of the wide fur brim and Squeeze me in smaller red stitching on the fur ball hanging off the back of the hat. He bent over to Hope and told her to squeeze the ball. She did and smiled when a tinny version of Jingle Bells began to play. Alan picked her up and she held onto him as everyone else came inside. Once they put the garbage bags and food down, the Doctor's children and grandchildren came back to give him hugs.

"Merry Christmas," the Doctor said as he hugged them. "It's great to see you again. I don't see you often enough. I keep debating on whether to build a great big house so I can have you all back under my roof again. I'm a very needy person, you know."

"Yes, we know," Tara said, rolling her eyes. "I'm surprised you actually let us go out on dates when we got old enough."

"I let you go out on dates? When did that happen?" the Doctor said, feigning confusion. "I must have had my brain swapped with someone else during that time. Anyway, while I sort out how I allowed my girls to go out on dates, come on in and enjoy yourselves."

As they went to the kitchen, the Doctor hugged Dex.

"Merry Christmas, my son," he said to him.

"And to you, Father. I'm glad you thought of bringing this Earth celebration here. I have to admit it was one of the few things I enjoyed during my Earth life," Dex said to him.

"I've always enjoyed it as well. Not just the presents and food but the fact that it celebrates peace and love and brotherhood which is what the Earth needs more of."

They looked at the door when someone knocked on it. They opened it up and saw Duer standing with his family. Faith was carrying a brown wicker basket that had a red velvet lining inside. Inside the basket were lollipops. The ends of the lollipops were covered with handmade Santa, Reindeer and Snowmen faces.

"Lolly?" Faith asked, holding up the basket to the Doctor and Dex.

"She did this so she could contribute," Duer said. "We helped her make the felt faces for the lollies and she wants to pass them out to everyone tonight."

"Awww, what a brilliant idea," the Doctor said, reaching down and pulling out a Santa one. "Thank you."

Dex said thanks to her as he took a snowman one. They hugged her and when they were done, Faith went past them to find the others. The Doctor chuckled when they heard her say, "Lolly?" while she went into the kitchen. The Doctor closed the door while Duer took the sack of gifts to the tree and Frankie took the covered dish of food they brought to the kitchen. The Doctor was about to step away from the door when someone else knocked. He opened it and saw Torchwood. They yelled Merry Christmas to him before coming inside with their gifts and food. While they were greeting each other, Faith came out of the kitchen with her basket and walked up to them.

"Lolly?" she said, holding up the basket to them.

"She and Duer made the little faces," the Doctor said, holding up his Santa one.

"Awww," Martha said while the members of Torchwood took some of the lollipops. "Thanks, sweetie!"

"Daddy and me made them, the faces, not the lollies," Faith said. "I want everyone to have one tonight."

"Thank you, I love the reindeer," Jack said, tousling her hair.

Faith walked away while Martha and Mickey took care of the presents and food. Everyone else walked into the living room and sat down. Over the next hour, the rest of the family streamed in and Faith ended up standing by the Doctor each time he answered the door, offering everyone a lollipop. The Doctor smiled proudly at her and laid his hand on her head when she offered Grace, Amber, Selena and Juliet some lollipops.

"Wow, you have a little helper tonight," Grace said as she took a snowman lollipop.

"Yes, she's been very sweet and generous tonight. We'll have to give her a little something extra in her stocking," the Doctor replied.

Once everyone arrived, the food was brought out to two large card tables and set up so everyone could get what they wanted. The Doctor and Duer took their daughters up to get something to eat and once everyone had food, they began to mingle and chat while they ate.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

"So anyway, there I was at three a.m. in the morning stitching this guy's penis back on."

Grace sat beside Martha in two of the huge comfortable recliners. The two women were trading stories about being doctors while they ate their food.

"The guy was embarrassed, of course," Grace said to Martha while she cut a piece of turkey off the main slice on her plate. "But it was his own fault. He ended up cheating on his wife and got his penis sliced off."

Alan, who was passing by with a plate of food, heard her mention penis and stopped behind her chair, standing quietly and eating while he listened to her.

"So, it took about four hours to reattach it and some of my male colleagues were laughing and making fun of the poor bastard while I was trying to do the delicate stitching. Making all these jokes about how they better not let their wives get wind of what his wife did."

"I'm sorry, you're talking about sewing a penis back on a person or am I going insane?" Alan finally said.

Martha laughed when Grace leaned up and looked at him.

"Being nosy?" she said with a wry grin.

"Well, it's not often you heard the word penis being bandied about at a Christmas party so yes, I am being nosy," Alan said.

"When I was human, about five years before you found me again, I was called into the ER one night because a woman found his man in bed with another woman and the man was being flippant about it once the woman kicked out the other woman and asked him about it. So when he went back to sleep, he got a huge butcher knife and basically Loreena Bobbited him for revenge."

"Ow," Alan said, making a face.

"Yeah and I was the one that had to reattach it since I was the star surgeon," Grace said. "And I had to listen to penis jokes from the men in the O.R. while I was doing it. Fun night."

"And you thought this was a topic of Christmas party conversation becaaaause…"

"Because Martha and I are both doctors and we're talking shop, now go away and go eat," Grace said while Martha laughed.

Alan walked away while Grace and Martha continued their conversation. Five minutes later, Alan was back with the Doctor and Jack in tow.

"So…Alan tells us you're an expert at reattaching penises," the Doctor said. "I'm glad you said something just in case someone slices off my meat and two veg. If that happens, I'll know who to come to."

Grace blushed while Martha laughed.

"I only had to do it once, I don't think that makes me an expert," she said to them.

"What about you? You reattach people's penises before?" Jack asked Martha.

"No, I'm not a surgeon. Or…I wasn't a surgeon when I was human so I never had to reattach a penis," Martha replied.

"How very boring, penis reattachment sounds like fun," Jack said.

"Will you lot let us eat and chat in peace?" Martha said to them.

"Come on, brothers, we'll find something else to do," Alan said to the Doctor and Jack.

The Doctor and Jack shared a look, stuck their noses up in the air and harrumphed as they walked past them. They walked over to Jenny and Emi who were standing in a corner laughing at something.

"Quit making fun of us," Alan said to them as the three of them walked past.

"We're not," Jenny said while the three men giggled. "Quit being paranoid."

"Oh come on," Jack said, turning towards them. "You're the warriors of the family so we know you're planning an ass kicking for us."

"Yeah, that's what we're doing. Planning your Christmas arse kicking," Emi said while Jenny rolled her eyes.

The Doctor's eyes bulged when he heard a tiny voice yelling, "Daddy!" He dramatically put his hand to his ear.

"Hark, I hear someone summoning me!" he said while Jack and Alan laughed.

They looked over towards the kitchen and saw Hope standing by the doorway, waving her arms.

"Daddy!" she yelled as everyone stopped talking, looked at her and looked over at him.

"You're being paged, Daddy," Dorothy said to him.

"So anyway," the Doctor said, turning back to Jack while Hope continued to call for him. "Excited about the Christmas parade tomorrow?"

"Daddy!"

"I hope they have Father Christmas," the Doctor said, ignoring her. "I always love when Father Christmas shows up and…"

Jack laughed when the Doctor grunted the moment Hope seized his hand and dragged him back towards the kitchen.

"You will listen to me!" she yelled while everyone laughed.

"Help, I'm being kidnapped by a small, noisy midget!" the Doctor yelled as he was pulled into the kitchen.

They watched while Tara ran in after him.

"OI!" the Doctor yelled a few seconds later when she ran out again. "Don't pinch my bum, missy! I'll use corporal punishment on you!"

"Yeah, I'm sooo scared!" Tara said. "You've never raised a hand to us in your life!"

There was a few seconds silence and then the Doctor came out, calmly holding a plate in one hand while he ate the pumpkin pie on it.

"I was being summoned for dessert," he informed everyone. "Hold this, Jack, and don't touch it," he added, handing it to him. "I will be back momentarily."

Jack took his plate and they watched while he walked past him and went into the garage. He shut the door and came back into the house two minutes later with a cricket bat in hand.

"Now!" he said, hefting the cricket bat onto his left shoulder. "Where is the miscreant who pinched me bum and claimed I'd never administer corporal punishment to her? I have a batting to get to."

The rest of Tara's siblings, save Dex, crowded around her and formed a protective barrier as the Doctor marched up to them.

"Ha ha, you adopted too many children, now we're an army," Tara said smugly.

Alan sprinted past everyone. A few seconds later, he returned with a handful of ice cubes.

"I'LL CLEAR OUT THE BARRIER, BROTHER!" he said.

Everyone laughed when the women squealed and ran in all directions while Alan tried to put the ice cubes down their clothes. Only Hope turned around and with Faith tried to slap his legs while Alan dodged them nimbly. Alan ran around Sarah Jane and hid behind her and Peter.

"Hi, Sarah, need ice for your drinks?" he said, holding up the melting ice to her face.

"Um…no, Alan, thanks," Sarah Jane said.

"Could you take them anyway? My fingers are turning blue," Alan said.

Alan frowned and looked down when Hope began slapping his legs.

"Leave my sissy alone!" Hope yelled at him.

She squealed and dashed to her father when Alan tried to pour the ice cubes down her shirt.

"Ha! Chicken!" Alan said as he ran around Sarah Jane and headed for the kitchen after her.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

After eating, they decided to play a game that Alan once made up based on Truth or Dare. Everyone received a random number that went up to the number of people that were there and questions and dares had been made up over the years by Alan, Adam and others and put on a second set of cards. The number cards were shuffled and placed beside the pile of questions and dares which were also shuffled. The Doctor volunteered to draw the cards after everyone received a third set of cards with numbers on them.

"Okay," the Doctor said as he sat down behind the coffee table.

He set his pie and coffee down beside the cards and drew the top ones from each pile.

"Number seven," he said aloud, "who has number seven."

"I do," Ianto said, holding up his hand.

"Right, Ianto," the Doctor said, reading the other card, "tell us about a time you said something that embarrassed yourself."

"Oh bugger," Ianto said while Torchwood sniggered.

"Oh, I can think of several instances," Jack said with a gleeful look.

Everyone waited for Ianto to say something while he shot a glance at Jack who was sniggering.

"Come on, Hubby, fess up," Jack said.

"Doctor, be sure to draw his number next and make sure it's an embarrassing card," Ianto said. "Um…okay, this is back when we were human and I was mainly the tea boy for Torchwood…"

He paused and noticed his teammates were eagerly awaiting his response.

"Jack decided he'd be a pest and told me that…he wanted me to come with him into the shower…and I'll leave that part of it since children are present but anyway…little did I know, Gwen was taking a shower which was part of Jack's plan. Jack told me that he wanted me to open the door and turn the light out before coming inside and once I came inside, I was supposed to say…I'm here, my love, do what you want with me. And stupid me, I believed the bastard," he said while all the adults laughed. "So here is Gwen in the shower and suddenly the lights go out and before she can say anything, I go bursting in yelling, I'M HERE, MY LOVE, DO WHAT YOU WANT WITH ME! Needless to say there was a long awkward pause in the dark before Gwen finally spoke up and informed me she was not Jack," Ianto said while his teammates howled with laughter. "But…I did get back at him later, which is another story but there's my answer to your question and now…I'm sitting down and not talking for the rest of the night."

He sat back down beside Jack who patted his shoulder and kissed his cheek. The Doctor drew the next set of cards.

"Number fourteen!" he yelled out.

"Oh crap," Amber said while everyone laughed.

"Ah, my sister-in-law! Good! Let's see what's in store for you then," the Doctor said, looking at the other card. "Okay, tell us about something that terrifies or used to terrify you."

"Well…the only thing I can think of is you, actually," Amber said.

"Me?" the Doctor said. "I terrify you?"

"You used to, back when I was jealous of Rain and you and I were at odds," Amber said. "I used to avoid you after you threatened to kick my ass if I didn't leave Rain alone."

"Oh yes," the Doctor said while they laughed. "Yes, I meant for you to be frightened of me because if you had continued to torment my wife you would have ended up in pieces in several small containers that would have ended up in several supernovas. However, that is behind us now and has been for a couple of centuries, thank Heaven."

Everyone cheered when Amber ran over and gave him a hug. The Doctor smiled and returned it as he sent love into her mind. She went back to her place and the Doctor drew two more cards.

"Okay, next is number two!"

Everyone looked around when no one spoke up. Rain, who was sitting behind the Doctor on the sofa, looked at Hope who was sitting beside her and saw two written on the card she was holding.

"It's Hope, she's number two," Rain said, tapping her husband's back.

"Ah, Hope, you wanna play this game?" the Doctor asked her.

"Yes."

"Okay, you have to do what's on this card then," the Doctor said to her. "And it says to do a silly dance for everyone."

"Can you go over there and do a silly dance for us?" Rain said, pointing to the space in front of the coffee table.

Hope slid off the sofa and walked over to the empty space made by the circle of friends and family. She stood there for a moment, looking around. Alan nudged Adam and they got up.

"Okay, dance!" Alan said.

He and Adam clapped their hands and sang a la la la tune. Hope smiled and danced around to it while everyone cheered. She danced for a minute and then everyone cheered when she stopped and went back to her mother. The Doctor drew the next two cards.

"Number twenty two!" the Doctor said.

"Crap!" Jack said as everyone laughed.

"Okay, Jack, you are supposed to favor us with a song," the Doctor said.

"Oh thank God, I thought you wanted personal information," Jack said relieved.

"I wasn't finished, Harkness," the Doctor said, holding up his hand. "The song has to be about you."

"That's fine. I still don't have to reveal personal information."

"Oh, well, we can always draw a new card," the Doctor said.

"No, no!" Jack said, running into the center of the family circle while everyone laughed. "Song about myself is perfectly fine. Okay, um…"

"This oughta be good," Mickey said while they waited.

"Okay," Jack said.

He began to clap his hand in a rhythm while he sang.

"My name is Jack, I am a stud.  
Ianto Jones is my best bud.  
I work at Torchwood night and day.  
All of us are happy and gay!"

Everyone laughed when Hope ran to him and began to do her dance while Jack sang. Faith ran up to Hope and both of them danced around while Jack laughed and clapped his hands.

"We fight monsters, that is clear.  
Then we come home and have a beer.  
Some people wouldn't like to do it.  
It's a tough job but someone's gotta do it.  
And now I'm gonna sit right down.  
Because I now feel like a total clown! Thank you!" he said, throwing his hands up in the air.

"Boo, you suck!" Adam said.

Jack discretely flipped him off before he went and sat back down.

"Thank you, Jack, that was silly and pointless, much like yourself."

Jack's mouth dropped open as he stared at John while everyone else howled with laughter.

"I'm gonna get you, John, just you wait!" Jack said, pointing at him as he stood across the room from him.

"Yeah, I'm so scared," John said.

The Doctor drew two more cards.

"Number nine," he said.

"Oh blast!" Rose said while everyone laughed.

"Ah, Timelord, good. Let's see what the card…"

He trailed off when he finally read what the card said.

"What? What do I have to do?" Rose said when the Doctor didn't say anything and kept his eyes on the card.

Rose gave him a confused look when the Doctor narrowed his eyes at her.

"If you have a past boyfriend or girlfriend, tell everyone one embarrassing thing you know about him that no one else knows."

Everyone laughed when Rose's face lit up with a gleeful look.

"Hmmmmm," Rose said, tapping her chin with her finger. "I s'pose my former boyfriend would beeee…the person minding the cards, eh?"

"Be veeeery careful what you say, Rose. Because the next few moments mean life or death for ya," the Doctor said.

"Gee, where do I begin?" Rose said, rubbing her hands together while everyone laughed.

"Rose, I mean it. I can make you regenerate in the next few minutes if you say the wrong thing," the Doctor said.

"Okay!" Rose said as everyone except the Doctor leaned forward in anticipation. "I'll keep it clean but there were nights when he and I would lay together and just cuddle and…well, Rain, perhaps you can back me up on this but the Doctor has atrocious farts."

"Yes, he does!"

"Shut up, Rain!" the Doctor said while everyone laughed.

"Well, one night he was being cheeky as he was coming from the loo and I was laying there and he came inside the room, acting all romantic and suddenly he runs over, puts his bum in my face and let's one rip. And I don't know what he had to eat but cor, the man smelled like something had rotted up inside him for a hundred years."

Everyone laughed when Rose ran off the moment the Doctor got to his feet and started chasing after her. He got to the end of the circle and watched while she ran to the garage, opened it and slammed the door.

"And stay in there!" he yelled as everyone laughed.

He walked back to the table and plopped down.

"He does have smelly farts, I can empathize with Rose."

"You wanna join Rose in the garage, dear?" the Doctor said to Rain while everyone laughed.

"Just being truthful, love," she said with a shrug.

"Yeah, well, you can be a little less truthful from now on," the Doctor muttered reaching for another set of cards while Rain ruffled his hair.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

"Okay," the Doctor said as Rose came back into the room, "I must take the opportunity to say that Rose is a filthy liar and the fart scenario never happened."

"Like hell it didn't," Rose said, sitting back down beside Alan.

"I would never be so boorish," the Doctor said, sticking his nose in the air while everyone laughed. "I am a proper Time Lord, a higher species who doesn't let one rip in my companion's face."

"You're also a prankster and a smart arse and you thought you were being funny when you did that."

"Lies! All lies! Anyway," the Doctor said quickly before Rose could protest. "Next card then."

He drew the next number.

"Number eleven!"

Sarah Jane groaned while her son and his friends laughed. The Doctor drew the card from the other pile.

"Pick someone in the room and tell us about one annoying personal habit of theirs."

"No!" Luke said, when Sarah Jane's head jerked around and she stared at him. "No, mum, pick someone else."

"Well, let's see," Sarah Jane said while everyone laughed. "My son is brilliant, a genius, but when it comes to keeping his room tidy, he needs a little bit of instruction on how to pick up his clothes."

Luke blushed while Rani and Clyde sniggered.

"I can't tell you how many times I've come into his room and his clothes are just strewn all over the floor like a hurricane hit it. Clyde and Rani are neater than he is."

"Okay, mum…" Luke said while Clyde and Rani laughed harder.

"There's been several times I've nearly broken my ankle because his jacket was on the floor and…"

Everyone laughed when Luke ran over and put his hands over her mouth. Sarah Jane leaned back and put her hand on his shoulder, bringing him down for a kiss on the cheek before Luke walked back to his seat. The Doctor pulled off the next card.

"Number twenty six," he said.

"ME!" Adam yelled, leaping up from the floor.

"Glad to know you're paying attention then, Storm," the Doctor said while everyone laughed.

He took a card from the other pile, glanced at it and groaned.

"No, better take another one," he said as he tried to put the card under the others.

"Why? What is it?" Adam said. "Is it something I'd enjoy doing?"

"I don't know who wrote this. I suspect it's my loony brother though," he said, giving Alan a pointed look. "Okay…Adam…do a mock Shakespearian scene where you are the handsome lover and Rain is your betrothed."

"Oh crap, I'm going to the restroom. I suddenly have to pee," Rain said, getting up from the sofa.

But before she could take two steps, Adam sprinted over to her and slammed down on one knee.

"Hark, mine beloved, forsooth, why art thou so full of urine when thine heart is filled with love for me? Surely thine heart longings would cancel out thy bladder?"

Rain rolled her eyes while everyone laughed. Adam took Rain's hand and gazed up at her longingly.

"Oh, mine beloved, mine plump betrothed with the thunder thighs, I long to get thee into the marriage bed."

"Thunder thighs?" Rain said while everyone laughed. "You better watch it, buster, or I'll take hubby's TARDIS and kick you out in Elizabethan times."

"Hark, thou art a shrew and I must tame thee so we can go hence to the marriage bed," Adam said. "Thou art a saucy wench but I shall soothe thee with a lively ditty that shall make thine hearts swoon. Observe, mine plump princess."

Suddenly he broke into a loud and off-key rendition of Tubthumping. Rain looked at her husband while he continued to serenade her.

"I have a theory about the clones," she said to the Doctor. "I think you didn't pour enough energy into the jar and Donna didn't touch the jar long enough and that's why they're all mentally off for some reason. Okay…" she said, looking at Adam, "you've done your routine, show's over now!"

"But mine porcine pumpkin," Adam said. "I have only begun to croon and swoon."

"You're gonna be swooning when I smack you upside the head, now go away!" Rain said while everyone laughed. "Give me that card!" she added, grabbing the card from the Doctor's hands.

They laughed harder when she tore it up into tiny bits and made a neat pile on the coffee table in front of her. The Doctor chuckled as he drew another card from the number pile but before he could read it, Alan zoomed to the center of the group.

"I MUST DO THE CHRISTMAS RHUMBA!" he screamed.

Rain put her head in her hands and Rose rolled her eyes when Alan began his silly dance. Hope and Faith howled with laughter when he began to bunny hop around. Then there was a knock on the door and before anyone could get up, Alan was bunny hopping his way over to it. He opened the door and smiled when he saw Xashon.

"Happy Crimbo, my friend! Come in, come in! I know it's not my house but who cares, I'm welcoming you inside," he said to her.

"Thank you, Alan," Xashon said, coming inside while the Doctor and Rain stood up and walked over to her.

She embraced them and handed them a medium sized gift wrapped present. The Doctor accepted it.

"Won't you come and sit with us? We're playing a party game but we can get you some food and drink," the Doctor said.

"Thank you. I think I will do all three," Xashon said to him. "Happy Christmas, my friend."

"And you," the Doctor said, giving her another hug.

"Come with me, the food's in the kitchen," Rain said as Xashon walked away with her.

While they were doing that, the Doctor walked back to the card pile. He glanced at Alan.

"Christmas Rhumba at an end?" he asked him.

"Heavens no, the rhumba never ends," Alan said.

"Sit down, ya git," Rose said, jumping up, running around and pushing him back towards his seat while everyone laughed.

The Doctor drew another number card.

"Number three," he said.

"Oh Lord," Wilf said while everyone laughed.

The Doctor chuckled and picked up the card. He raised an eyebrow when he read what it said.

"Oh, this oughta be interesting," the Doctor said.

"What?" Wilf said.

"Describe in excruciating detail the most wildest night you've ever had," the Doctor said.

Everyone laughed when Wilf looked horrified at that.

"Um…draw another card," Wilf said.

"No, we wanna hear, tell us about your wildest night," John said.

"No, because there are children and my daughter present. Draw another card," Wilf said.

Everyone groaned when the Doctor put the card back under the pile and drew another one.

"Sing a song, can you do that?" he asked Wilf.

"If it means not having to tell you my wildest night, I'll do anything," Wilf said.

"Blast, I wanna know about the wild Wilf night," Adam said.

Wilf stood and thought for a moment. He began to sing It's a Long Way to Tipperary while everyone listened. While they were doing that, Xashon came out of the kitchen with Rain and both of them paused and listened with everyone else as Wilf sang. When he finished, everyone applauded and called for an encore. Wilf shook his head and sat back down.

"You ever consider a singing career, Wilf?" the Doctor said to him.

"Yeah, you're good," Duer said. "You shoulda told us you could sing. We coulda tried to get you on Pop Idol."

"Did you know about this, Donna?" the Doctor said to her.

Donna smiled and nodded.

"Used to sing me to sleep at night when I was small," Donna said while Wilf gazed at her lovingly. "Always loved his voice."

"Well, well, we have another singer in the family besides the Roses, learn something new every day," the Doctor said, drawing another card. "Um…number twenty eight."

Cameron groaned.

"No, thank you, I'll give this a miss," he said.

"Nope, you have to play just like everyone else," the Doctor said, drawing a card. "Okay…you have to tell someone in the room that you really, really love them and give them a big, sloppy kiss."

"Really?" Cameron said, raising his eyebrows. "Hmmm, okay, that's not so bad. Um…"

He looked around at everyone and grinned when he wiggled his fingers and Faith levitated into the air and came over to him. She laughed when he seized her, gave her several sloppy kisses on the face and proclaimed her love for her while everyone laughed. When he let her go, Xashon looked at Rain.

"This is a brilliant idea for a game," she said.

"Oh yeah, we do this every year now, everyone loves it," Rain said to her.

"Do you wanna play our brilliant game then?" the Doctor asked.

"No, that's okay, I'll just watch," Xashon said quickly while everyone laughed.

They played the game for another hour before the Doctor finally told everyone that they were going to stop for now to pass out presents.

"Santa? Who wants to be Santa?" he called out while Hope and Faith bounced with excitement.

"I shall have the honor, sir," Alan said, standing up and bowing.

"Get over there, fat, ugly and old and give us our gifts!" Adam said to him.

"Just for that, you'll have coal. Not just in your stocking, it'll be down your throat!" Alan said to him.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm really scared, Naffzilla," Adam said while Alan walked over to the Christmas tree.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"Okay," Alan said as he bent over near the tree and looked over the presents.

His eyes widened when Hope came up beside him.

"I wanna help," she said.

Alan reached down, plucked a piece of lint off the carpet and gave it to her.

"Be a lamb and dispose of this in the rubbish, there's a good girl."

"No!" Hope said, throwing it down while everyone laughed.

"Blast, I thought you could tidy up while I did this. Okay then…"

He looked through the presents and handed one for the Doctor to Hope. It was small and rectangular and wrapped in red wrapping paper with a gold bow on top. Alan told her to take that to her daddy and began looking through the other presents while she walked back over to the sofa. The Doctor held his hand out but Hope sat the gift down on the sofa beside him.

"I'll help you open it, Daddy," she said as she reached for the bow.

She laughed when the Doctor tickled her.

"I bet you will, Miss Nosy, but this is mine," he said, snatching it away from her while everyone laughed.

Alan continued to pass out presents to everyone until they were all gone. Everyone waited to open theirs except for Hope and Faith who tore into their presents. Then both girls were dismayed when they opened everything and everyone else started opening theirs.

"That's why we wait, love," Rain said to Hope when she saw the crestfallen look on her face. "But go ahead and open a few of mine and help me."

The Doctor gave her a few and Duer and Frankie gave Faith a few of theirs to open. Hope opened one for the Doctor and picked up a large, flat square box and stared at it. On the front of it was a large padded seat with a small white remote control positioned in front of it. Above the cushion were the words, HOVER CUSHION. On the side in smaller letters it said, hours of fun and amusement, glide along in comfort. She laid that aside and opened another present. She frowned when she saw a leather bound book with alien writing on the front. She tugged on her father's jacket sleeve as he was admiring a purple orb. The Doctor gave her quizzical expression.

"What's this say?" she said, pointing to the gold lettering on the front.

The Doctor read it and his eyes bulged. Rain frowned, leaned over and got the same expression.

"What's wrong?" Hope asked, confused at their shocked expressions. "What's it say? I wanna know!"

"Did you open the book?" the Doctor asked, taking it from her.

"No, I wanna know what the stuff on the front says," Hope said.

The Doctor took the wrapping and found the tag. He read it and groaned. He looked across the room and met eyes with Jack who was staring at him nervously. He put up a privacy block around his mind.

_You got us the Xoraxian Kama Sutra?_ He thought to Jack.

_How was I to know that Hope would open it? It's for you and Rain to use, not her. Just tell her it's a grown up book,_ Jack thought back.

_Yeah and she'll be even more curious,_ the Doctor thought.

"Daddy?"

"Love, it's a grown up book that you shouldn't be looking at," the Doctor said to her. "It's for me and mommy."

The moment he said that, eyebrows rose up and half the people looked at Cameron and the other half at Jack.

"Don't look at me; I didn't buy it for him. I got him cologne," Cameron said.

The half that had been looking at him looked at Jack who blushed and shrugged.

"It's been helpful for me and Yan, he said while Ianto squirmed in his seat and began trying to find a place to hide. The Doctor laid the book on the side furthest from his daughter so she couldn't get to it, but he noticed she was still looking at it. Alan noticed her curiosity and reached down beside him for one of his gifts, a monkey puppet. He put it on his hand and walked over to her.

"Howdy, I'm Monkey Moo, how are you?" he said in a high-pitched voice as he made the monkey talk.

Hope's attention was instantly riveted on the puppet and she laughed when Alan made the monkey kiss her cheek.

"Who got you that?" the Doctor asked him.

Alan pointed to Adam.

"Figures," the Doctor said while everyone laughed and Adam gave him a cheesy grin.

Alan let Hope borrow the sock puppet so she could play with it. Faith walked over and they walked over to the Christmas tree with some of their toys and played while the adults finished unwrapping their things. Faith was given a couple of tubs of legos and they went to work building a small town with them. They were so busy building that they didn't realize that everyone else was done with their gifts and were busy having tea and coffee with some cake and pie. Hope finally looked up after finishing one side of her house and she looked around at the adults.

"Hi," Rain said while everyone laughed. "You were so busy having fun; we didn't want to disturb you and Faith. Do you want some milk and cake or pie?"

She and Faith nodded and got up from the floor. They followed their mother into the kitchen. The moment they were out of sight, Alan nudged Rose and he walked over to their lego town.

"Alan, don't destroy it," Rose hissed at him.

"I'm not," Alan said indignantly as he lay down on his stomach in front of it. He examined the half finished buildings and then tipped one of the tubs towards him so he could see inside. He reached in and pulled out a handful of legos and began to construct something. By the time, Hope and Faith returned with milk and raspberry pies, Alan was half finished making a little car. Hope and Faith walked over and sat down on either side of him, eating their food while they watched him. He continued building his car while they ate. Then Hope put her plate and glass down, got up and walked over to her toys. She grabbed a large plastic pouch filled with plastic animals and took it back to the legos. She opened it and dumped it out while Alan paused and watched.

"Aha, we need a zoo," Alan said while he tipped over the tub and let some of the parts spill out.

Rose chuckled as she walked over, grabbed a plastic giraffe and shoved it in his face.

"Your worst nightmare!"

"Eeeek!" Alan said as everyone laughed. "Give me that!"

He took it from Rose, laid it on the floor and mimed pounding it while Hope and Faith laughed.

"Ha! I will pound you into goo! I swear I will!" Alan said as he pounded his fist on the toy giraffe. "Vengeance is mine and…"

He trailed off when he felt hands on his shoulders giving him a massage.

"There, there, calm down," Adam said, kneading his muscles while everyone laughed. "Calm, that's it. Remember your high blood pressure, love. That's it, calm now."

"Go away, I'm having fun," Alan said, looking over his shoulder at him.

"Okay, I'll have fun as well," Adam said, laying down beside him.

"You do realize those legos were meant for the children, right?" Rain said while everyone laughed.

"I do believe we got Alan and Adam the wrong thing," Frankie said to her. "We shoulda got them several tubs of legos and that would have kept them busy for the entire night."

"Yes, I keep forgetting how childish they both are."

"I may grow old but I will never grow up!" Alan said to her before sticking his tongue out and turning his attention back to his lego car.

Later on that night, after everyone departed, the Doctor went outside onto his porch and looked up at the night sky. The moons shone down and the stars twinkled above him. He looked over his shoulder when he heard the door open and smiled when Hope came outside with Rain.

"Good evening, my loves," he said. "Beautiful night, eh?"

They came up beside him and stood with him, staring at the night sky while the Christmas lights on their house and the houses around them lit up the street and made it look magical.

"You need to get to sleep soon so Father Christmas can come," the Doctor said to Hope.

"I thought he came," Hope said.

"Oh no, that was gifts from your family. Father Christmas is loading up gifts for you in his star cruiser so he can fly from the North Pole on Earth and give you some nice surprises in the morning before we watch the Christmas parade. So have a bath and get into your jim jams and I'll be up to give you Christmas kisses, yeah?"

"Now?"

"Yes, you can get a bath and stay up a bit before you have to go to bed," Rain said. "But I want you to go turn on the water and I'll be up there in a moment, okay?"

Hope nodded and the Doctor gave her a hug and kiss on the cheek before she ran back inside. Once she was out of sight, Rain cocked her eyebrow.

"Kama sutra?" she said with a wry grin.

"Hey, might come in handy. Jack is the expert on that sort of thing, you know."

"Well, maybe we can try one or two things before we have to get up and help Santa set up Hope's toys for Christmas morning."

"Ooo, sounds good to me," the Doctor said.

He nuzzled Rain's cheek and kissed her lips.

"Merry Christmas, my love," Rain whispered to him.

"Merry Christmas, my lives mate," he whispered back. "Get Hope squeaky clean and I'll try to find a Christmas DVD she can watch before her bedtime."

Rain nodded. She gave him one more kiss and the Doctor gazed at her lovingly as she walked back into the house. He stood for a moment more, staring up at the stars, admiring them and thinking how lucky he was before he turned, headed back into the house and closed the door behind him.

THE END.


End file.
